My chitty life

[miserableehh]

Im 30 years old. My father was an alcoholic and my mother was a huge bitch. She hired some whore babysitter who locked me in the bedroom so she could molest my brother. Or so he tells me because I blocked it out, he then molested me and never explained or talked about the situation later in life. I doubt hes any better. hes the sucessfull one, ironically. After dad left. I had to babysit my little sister and brother who are like 12 years younger than me, so they were babies, litterally. We lived in a slum, my mom was working 3-11 no parents kids dragged my baby brother and sister on the ground cuz they were the only white people, had rocks thrown at outr windows lead poisioned wated and roaches and rats no hot water or heat, no nice clothes. i didnt get paid or even appreciated.
My mom spent her life putting me down trying to hit me, telling me im going to hell. i broke down couldnt take all the neighbors picks on the kids and no parents, kids would **** things up and balime it on my brother. now my brother is always getting ****ing beat up on but he fights back so hes going to prison, for spraying mace in a guys face who attacked him cuz mace isnt legal in my state. Yes I ****ing know. Its not fair.
At ****ing all. Kids in the upperclass can get away with driving without paying thier insurance my bro was working at tacobell and not getting jack. he couldnt afford rent and auto insurance. he went to jail for it, not a ticket.
some kid threw his dog in the trash, he fought him and it was him who went to jail not the kid who tried to kill a puppy by throwing it away live in a dumpster when it was in his care.
I HAVE ****ING SOCIAL ANXIETY AND IT MAKES ME TALK OUTLOAD, I say what people expect the worse thing possible, thats what they want right. Im the queen of self sabotage.
FURTHER I wasnt allowed to have the light on at night so i read in the dark then I needed glasses, since i got glasses my vision has deteriorated cuz thats what glasses do, they **** up your eyes. YAY.
Now I cant even see.
I went to an ortodontist to fix the spaces on my top teeth I should have gotten invisaline but he was like no no no well just bring the first six together with partial braces and noone will ever see the spaces on the side BULLSHIT IT LOOKS HORRIBLE.
So now my teeth still suck. I liked them better BEFORE.
Now onto my nose or shall i say BEAK. Its pointy up turned and freaking huge.
Ive never found love or had tantric orgasmic ****ing sex.
Oh I have small tits.
Cuz I STARVED during my adolesence. YEAH LITTERALLY STARVED, the only thing that kept me alive was tubs of government peanutbutter and stuff.
Im too old tired, and I care about nothing I have no drive to do anything it all seems way ****ing out of reach and why should I ****ing bother???????????????????

I just want to be in ill health and die "accidentally" like Brittany Murphey.

[BahumatLord]

Im 30 years old. My father was an alcoholic and my mother was a huge bitch. She hired some whore babysitter who locked me in the bedroom so she could molest my brother. Or so he tells me because I blocked it out, he then molested me and never explained or talked about the situation later in life. I doubt hes any better. hes the sucessfull one, ironically. After dad left. I had to babysit my little sister and brother who are like 12 years younger than me, so they were babies, litterally. We lived in a slum, my mom was working 3-11 no parents kids dragged my baby brother and sister on the ground cuz they were the only white people, had rocks thrown at outr windows lead poisioned wated and roaches and rats no hot water or heat, no nice clothes. i didnt get paid or even appreciated.
My mom spent her life putting me down trying to hit me, telling me im going to hell. i broke down couldnt take all the neighbors picks on the kids and no parents, kids would **** things up and balime it on my brother. now my brother is always getting ****ing beat up on but he fights back so hes going to prison, for spraying mace in a guys face who attacked him cuz mace isnt legal in my state. Yes I ****ing know. Its not fair.
At ****ing all. Kids in the upperclass can get away with driving without paying thier insurance my bro was working at tacobell and not getting jack. he couldnt afford rent and auto insurance. he went to jail for it, not a ticket.
some kid threw his dog in the trash, he fought him and it was him who went to jail not the kid who tried to kill a puppy by throwing it away live in a dumpster when it was in his care.
I HAVE ****ING SOCIAL ANXIETY AND IT MAKES ME TALK OUTLOAD, I say what people expect the worse thing possible, thats what they want right. Im the queen of self sabotage.
FURTHER I wasnt allowed to have the light on at night so i read in the dark then I needed glasses, since i got glasses my vision has deteriorated cuz thats what glasses do, they **** up your eyes. YAY.
Now I cant even see.
I went to an ortodontist to fix the spaces on my top teeth I should have gotten invisaline but he was like no no no well just bring the first six together with partial braces and noone will ever see the spaces on the side BULLSHIT IT LOOKS HORRIBLE.
So now my teeth still suck. I liked them better BEFORE.
Now onto my nose or shall i say BEAK. Its pointy up turned and freaking huge.
Ive never found love or had tantric orgasmic ****ing sex.
Oh I have small tits.
Cuz I STARVED during my adolesence. YEAH LITTERALLY STARVED, the only thing that kept me alive was tubs of government peanutbutter and stuff.
Im too old tired, and I care about nothing I have no drive to do anything it all seems way ****ing out of reach and why should I ****ing bother???????????????????

I just want to be in ill health and die "accidentally" like Brittany Murphey.

....... I think you really need someone to talk to. Maybe a local group in your area or look here Depression Forum, Depression support group community . Maybe someone there can help you

[Thor107]

I'm sorry to hear that you have had a rough run in life. You sound like a very nice girl. You sound like a bright person and you have alot to offer the world so don't sell yourself short. You shouldn't be so hung up on your looks because you are too smart for that. We live in a time that with the internet with the internet we can reach out and connect with people that we would of never been able to talk to. People that aren't shallow people that love you for who you are. If you would like to talk more PM me..

[tthousand]

I envy you for your courage to say something. Not something everyone has this day and age.

I can defiantly relate to you on certain levels.

The problem is not with you, but with a society that thinks it knows how to take care of it self when people do not know how to take care of there own selves.

The reality of your world, and everyone's world is that our brains will only allow us to believe what we know. It is very hard to change, and find new truths about life; because that is the question that everyone wants to know right, what is the purpose of life?

Who is your creator. Well, odds are it is you, and not some idol in the sky or otherwise. Odds are I say, because how else do you explain the dark figure that that stood at the foot of my bead when I was very young, but it disappeared when I shook my head.

One of the great things I ever heard was from a Cormega song, where he says, LIFE IS AN INTERLUDE TO DEATH SON, YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT? Who knows what is beyond there... but who really knows what we have here. All that I keep hearing is this talk about bouncy light spheres, the machine elves.

WELL< WHY I AM HERE < I WAS COMING TO POST A THREAD... BUT SAW THIS FIRST

Here is my thread, which talks about some of my views on life and the universe from which we came :--> http://psx-scene.com/forums/f16/then...u-know-100624/ (Then End of The World as You Know It)

What I am getting at, is that you need to find what motivates you, and what brings you peace. Also, the body is you temple, and if you treat it right, it will treat you back back... for the most part.

I hope you can find some true happiness.

The anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion is very inspirational to me.

[Inky_72]

The OP is a spambot, it got banned on cR .It used the same PSN ID that all the spambots use, only the Gamertag changes .

" Previous Fields - PSN ID : 143040 - XBL ID : Rhetoric2 "

Edit: http: //c0dereality. com/user/119354-miserableehh/

[Greg0u812]

The OP is a spambot, it got banned on cR .It used the same PSN ID that all the spambots use, only the Gamertag changes .

" Previous Fields - PSN ID : 143040 - XBL ID : Rhetoric2 "

Edit: http: //c0dereality. com/user/119354-miserableehh/

That's kind of what I was wondering Inky.

[nanito13]

you cam add me on my email its go_girl_nadine@windowslive.com we can chat together

[Jay-Jay]

best way to spot these spambots is to just google the first sentence of their post, and you will see how many other sites got attacked.

https://www.google.com/search?hl=&q=...US328&ie=UTF-8

[Lethal_NFS]

Those damn suicidal spam bots!!!

[tthousand]

I assume you are joking