thanks for all the kind words everyone, they really do mean a lot to me.
we're doing a lot better now, we sat or layed together all day and held eachother and cried it helped a good amount. we will get on with our lives we will be happy again soon I'm sure. we still have eachother and the happy memories of loving on her tummy as long as those are the thought we keep and not the painfull ones we'll be okay. it still hurts but it WILL get better...
we're not going to seek any retaliation against the doctors (legal or otherwise) it wont bring back our baby and it wont make anything better. we know the doctors have learned thier lesson, they know now what they did wrong and I'm sure it wont happen to anyone again any time soon. they do feel bad, they didn't mean for this to happen after all... and we're not goinng to sue them just to get a lot of money (if we would even win a lawsuit) we don't need money to be happy and we never will need it for that.
it doesn't hurt as bad as i would imagine losing a baby that has already been born would, I know that would hurt so much more and I pray I never have to go through anything like that. but still, I feel like a piece of me is gone now, like theres a hole in my heart that needs mending. I know it will get better though and knowing that already helps a lot.
thank you all so much for caring.