I'm going through some terrible feelings right now.
we found out today that Allison (my girlfriend) miscaried. our baby is no longer here. I feel so horrible and I can't stop crying... all the hopes and dreams we had for our little one have been crushed, we wont even be able to see what he or she looked like. and what makes me feel even worse is knowing this could have been prevented.
about 3 days ago she was cramping and bleeding so we rushed to the doctors. the doctors assured us it was only a pregnancy period and was nothing to worry about. her friend (who is a doctor in another state) doesn't trust the doctors here so he sent a specialist he knows to see her. it took 3 days for the specialist to be able to get here to see her. when she did see her she told us that it was in fact a miscariage. she said it could have easily been prevented at the first signs if the doctors that first saw her had actully done what they were supposed to.
I really feel like hating those doctors right now, how could they be so nieve?
I feel like I'm to blame for this too. the doctors said she was stressing too much and I think I played a large part in creating that stress. right now my ex is really trying to get me to come back to her and she's doing and saying some very nasty things towards Allison. I should have kept her away from all that, it would have helped a lot in keeping her stress free and our baby might still be growing today.
now our baby is gone, never to be held, never to be kissed, never to be hugged or tickled. I'll never get to hear her or him laugh. never get to see what would have been one of the worlds most beautiful smiles. I'll never be called daddy by that one wonderfull person....I've lost so much. there is love there though, our baby is loved and always will be, by me by Allison and by many others...